

Shark at Santa Cruz nibbled a vegan. Instantly developed gluten intolerance.
At Pismo Beach, bite victim was mansplaining marine biology.
Laguna Beach shark asked for consent, then still bit.
Long Beach shark became disoriented after biting into a foam noodle.
Daytona Beach sharks reportedly holding out for union benefits.
At Waikiki, shark said it was offended by the man's pineapple pizza tattoo.
Bondi Beach sharks now charge a “flavor tax.”
Laguna Beach shark bit a man for saying “sharks are just water dogs.”
Bondi Beach lifeguard says shark only bit man for skipping leg day.
Miami Beach victim says he survived, but not emotionally.