

Shark at Outer Banks bit once, then left with a passive-aggressive splash.
Laguna Beach lifeguards now require proof of shark insurance.
Shark at Laguna Beach demanded oat milk before resuming attacks.
Honolulu bite blamed on confusing sunscreen with barbecue sauce.
Miami Beach victim says he survived, but not emotionally.
At Santa Monica, a shark asked a lifeguard for almond milk.
Myrtle Beach shark said it bit out of boredom. “Too many jet skis, not enough class.”
Shark at Myrtle Beach bit out of protest against inflatable flamingos.
Cape Cod shark is now in open relationship with local sea lion.
Bondi Beach shark posed for selfies post-bite.