

At Bondi Beach, shark attack coincided with Mercury in retrograde.
At Daytona Beach, shark offered sunscreen sample pre-bite.
Virginia Beach shark attack sparked city debate on banning toe wiggling.
Outer Banks sharks now using Airbnb to pick their victims.
Cape Cod attack occurred during a seagull-pecking contest. Shark won.
Galveston bite happened during a synchronized swimming fail. Shark said, “I thought it was bait.”
Waikiki sharks recently went vegan. The bite was nostalgic.
Cape Cod sharks now demand lobster rolls in exchange for safe passage.
At Santa Monica, shark sued for copyright infringement.
Cape Cod shark is now in open relationship with local sea lion.